Fruit Fly Frenzy

I hate bugs...so moving to the South may have not been my best idea ever. The random dead roaches (and the occasional living roach) have me on edge a lot of the time. The good news about these fast, disgusting little creatures is that they hate the light. I, on the other hand, hate the dark so we rarely run into each other.

For a while we had an ant problem where the ants came marching 1 by 1 hoorah, hoorah! After days of drowning hundreds of visitors in windex (ala my days at IU and My Big Fat Greek Wedding) and spackling and caulking all holes/cracks and putting a death trap in the one gap we couldn't fill, the ants surrendered.

Enter fruit fly - Public enemy #1. From my days back in college, experimenting in a dreadful biology lab, I learned two things. First, I learned which tanning lotion provides the best tan. Second, fruit flies multiply quickly. When I moved to Florida there was a massive fruit fly problem hidden in one of the cabinets. What I can only assume to be an onion we left in the cupboard and biology + chemistry + zoology quickly created a disaster. We handled that situation and after a few days we were fruit fly-free.

I'm now left with just the occasional pesky fruit fly which seems pretty normal except these fruit flies are out for blood. The problem arises when 1 fruit fly, with nothing to snack on, turns into a nasty, hungry fruit fly. This 1 lovely fruit fly enjoys dive bombing my face, sitting on my breakfast and circling my food when I'm in the kitchen. Here I sit, minding my own business, trying to accomplish things today, and this fruit fly keeps appearing in front of the computer screen. What he doesn't know is that I'll cut a bitch. Watch out fly guy, this isn't over. I'm onto you!